The Breather Day

I think it`s freaking awesome that blogspot lets me convert the entire page in Tagalog. And that this keyboard at the Internet Cafe sucks. AHHH. Shift key is not where I am used to and there are extra keys. NoOOooOO!!

Alright. So I can write about that any day. I basically went to class today for 5 hours straight, had some fish that my mom cooks sometimes at a little restaurant, and went to the orphanage. I chose the orphanage over the hospital for personal reasons. I realized I´m one of those overly optimistic people who like to pretend things are always going to turn out awesome in the end. I guess, it´s not that I´m stupid or ignorant of suffering, but people with permanent mental disabilities make me uncomfortable. It´s a bad thing about me to want to block things out. Even if I changed their lives and they changed mine, they would never be completely free the way that most people can be. I guess, I want to interact with someone and live with the myth that they´ll grow up independent, ambitious, and gorgeous as people.

I keep thinking about that mountain hike yesterday. It doesn´t even feel like yesterday. It feels like a few days ago or last week. Honestly, it could have been a dream, for all I know. God, I was sitting on top of a mountain, watching the clouds at eye level or lower. IN fact, when I got to the refreshment house, we were basically inside a cloud. I guess, I was just thinking about how I could have given up, especially when I was wearing 2.5 inch boots, and there were so many times when my insides started to hurt and then went away. When we all started, it was 5 AM and I couldn´t even see a thing. The star were ridiculously visible. I´m guessing because we were high enough that there were no clouds. I felt like I was dreaming a painful and lovely dream.

I like my roommate a lot. I don´t know how it turned out that I never met her until the last week or so of school in April and that she lived on my floor. She´s extremely intelligent and a wonderful conversationalist. I found myself getting really moved and jealous of her China mission stories. She told me her job was to make the children who were getting face surgery feel at ease. She played Memory with one and said she loved how language wasn´t needed. Nonverbal communication. She also told me this little girl gave her the good luck charm she had around her neck. According to the translator, the little girl wanted to say thank you for changing her life. How intensely powerful. A woman apparently walked for 4 days just to see if they can qualify for this free surgery. Man. Being in that kind of atmosphere must have been an amazing experience. Still, I´ll never be able to be a doctor. Ever. It´s just not my calling.

I´ve also been thinking about how simple life is here. In that little village, especially. I love how they carry their children on their back. I wonder if any of them dreams of leaving where they are now.

I´m beginning to see why my mother thinks I´m extremely emotional and such a dreamer. Everything seems hard and practical here, somehow. I can´t believe how little money it costs to take a taxi. I´ve told myself that I should pretend I´m living here instead of visiting. Assimilation is the key to learning anything when it comes to culture. People can always say they´ll be back in their homes millions of miles away and take comfort in that. I started wondering about the people way back when who left their homes for good and knew they´d never see it again. Technology wasn´t always what it is now.

I no longer have altitude sickness. Hallejujah!

Necesito hablar español. No estoy confidente en mis abilidades. Paso a paso... Sigh.

I forgot to mention I bought two Spanish books. La Importancia de llamarse Ernest by Oscar Wilde and El Asunto Indecoroso (?) by Kate Chopin. They´re such lovely books. I can´t wait until I fully understand them. I vow to. Meh... Someday. Kate Chopin is my favorite author and I love The Importance of Being Ernest!

I knoooow I have more to say. How can I not? I´m in the middle of the freaking Andes mountains!

More later, kiddies. Im getting a tour of the whole city of Cusco on Saturday. I wish I could upload my amazing pictures, but alas... no cord to connect to the computer. Maybe when I ask to borrow Zach´s computer again.

Until next time, loves.

P.S. I played Charades in class today for the first time! AHH. It was so fun!