Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Belated Conclusion.

I'm sorry I concluded the Peru journal that way without much of a conclusion. Thinking back now, 7 months after coming back to what we like to call "real life" (at least for the college students and such), it's hard to really recall the tiny details of Peru, except for random moments and life-changing moments. I will say, however, that keeping this journal, no matter how few the entries appear due to the lack of my own computer, was the best idea I had in terms of a method to store some of Peru in a secret box of my own.

What I will tell you, however, is that the experience, no matter how blurred it appears now (you'll have to give me credit because we did a TON of stuff), has changed me. It makes me crave more and more. So, that's what I'll just have to keep striving for. A continuous flow of life-changing experiences.

Hopefully, the next time I'll write here, I'll be writing from another awesome place in the world that'll be amazing =) Til then, my loves.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Long Awaited Post

My mind's been empty lately. Even when I have time to ponder on everything, I really don't want to. Generally, I just AM. A lot of things have happened, but it's basically just... one huge blur. You'll have to forgive me for leaving you with just that. Mostly... it's just because I don't have time and I'm using Damian's computer.

Sigh. Of course, one thing always seems to come to me in small doses. C'est la vie.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Orphanage + The Clinic

Every day is such a long day. I get up at 7:30 and go to sleep around 1 AM. I've gotten accustomed to it, though. It's strange, but topics that I didn't expect to ponder on in Peru has started to surface. Yesterday, when I was at the orphanage, the girls were playing little-girl-elementary-school clapping games with my Peru travel-mates and I started to remember my childhood. I started remembering playing similar games in my Chinese tutor's house with the other little girls in the Philippines. I started to remember playing four-square at my elementary school in suburbia Chicago. Then, later that night, we went to see a performance of native dances. The dances were pretty simple. I liked their costumes. I even got picked to go dance on stage at the very end! YAY. But, to tie it all together with the point of pondering, I started to remember performing onstage in my high school years, singing Colors of the Wind and doing a Korean fan dance with friends.

The girls at the orphanage are adorable. One of them asked me if I had a mom. They're all so lively and energetic, which I love because it appears that being orphaned hasn't changed too much of their positive qualities. The first day I volunteered, we ended up doing laundry manually! It wasn't a new thing to me. I was used to seeing the maids I used to have in the Philippines do our laundry without a machine. It wasn't until later when Kim mentioned it that I realized it was a surreal experience. I was doing laundry manually with orphans in the middle of the Andes mountains, listening to music in Hindu and French. What! That's pretty kick ass. The next time I saw them, which was yesterday, I ended up just drawing them, singing and dancing Shakira-like things (very unsuccessfully, I might add), and teaching one of them English numbers and alphabets. Today, I went to the Clinica instead to help out with the mentally impaired kids. Apparently, the orphan girls asked for me. Awww.

The Clinic was something I couldn't see myself doing often, much less everyday. I thought I would just end up going there once a week to switch up my perspective on helping people. Truth be told, I was a bit bored. The children couldn't carry conversations with me, even with my terrible Spanish. I also didn't like the smell of the place. It smelled of sickness and old people, despite the young ages of the children. I enjoyed playing with the little toddlers, though. It makes me sad that they'll never be as free as the average person could be.

In class, our professor appears to like giving us topics that revolve around Love. I've been thinking about that lately. Before I left for Peru, I really couldn't imagine myself with anyone. Being in Peru, I can almost say I've forgotten what it was like to be in love with someone. I'm farther than I've ever been. This is exactly where I wanted to be, though.

Uhh... what else?

I accidentally ate a guinea pig awhile ago. I will be able to own one now. AHHH. Not that.. I was planning to or anything... ha.

I feel as though I'm missing something in this entry. Oh well. Another entry for another day, I suppose.

===============================
Hello, Dearest--

It's Me again. Where have you gone? I can only recognize you through a feeling that left me long ago with an imprint that I find myself looking at when all the world has left me to only my mind. And what a beautiful imprint it was! Intricately, Delicately, Passionately made with edges that burned for the price of Belonging. Dear Love, forgive me for abandoning you, but I have not yet been molded to the vessel in which you'd wish to reside in. Had I been, the scars would not have marked me so black and my insides would have been more ressistant to the advances of your constant visitor, Irrationality. Although your rival, Ambition, has me captivate, you are never a forgotten concept.

I eagearly await the day when you and I shall fit together as it was always intended and never again will I nor you have to leave the other's side.

Yours Truly,
The Entirety of my Being

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Clubbing in the Plaza

After having made up my mind not to go out with them, Zach walked into my room and said he was going. I figured, since he liked dancing less than I do by far and that he was going, I should go, too. The fact that someone else was willing to retire early and take a cab back with me was also a bonus.

I had a lot of fun. We went to three different clubs and really only stayed at one. They played some techno and English songs. Geo, Sumra, and I even danced on top of the bar. YESSS. I suppose it´s been awhile since I cut loose. The girls are fun. We had a huge dance circle thing going on for awhile. Then, I felt my stomach get a little upset from all the motions. I went home early with Zach.

Test tomorrow. Then, volunteer work at the Orphanage. I haven´t said much about it, but I´ll be sure to fill you in soon.

Chaoo.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Cusco Hike + Cathedral

I am seriously much too tired to be extremely enthusiastic about blogging, but I have wanted to write since yesterday. It didn't work out since I didn't have the proper privacy and, earlier today, I got distracted by The Incredibles in Spanish on TV when I was about to go to the Internet Cafe . Tomorrow is a free day for us where we have no class, no tours, no hikes, no service, or anything. But! It's homework day. I haven't started my Spanish diario. I also have a test on Monday. Oh well. Everyone wants to go clubbing, but I think I'm going to pass. I have about 15 minutes to decide.

Today was lovely. I don't think I've ever been so happy to be in Peru. We finally took our long awaited city tour of Cusco. We went to see the old Inca grounds where there was a battle with the Spaniards. Everything was absolutely gorgeous. We even drank fresh water that is apparently sacred. I'm not sure if it's the fountain of Fertility or the fountain of Youth. Hah. Neither seem helpful to me at the moment. I already look like I'm 10 and I also don't need any children.

Being in Peru is so refreshing. The more we saw today, the more glad I was that I didn't decide to go to China or Spain this summer instead. Peru is so natural, from the little part of it that I've seen. Geo said that Peru is great in the sense that it has everything: People who have technology, people who live in the desert, people who live by the mountains... so forth and so on. We're doing our Machu Picchu travel next week, I think. The last week we're here, we're traveling to about 76886567567 different places.

Peru is... well, it's certainly a country that knows how to speak to the soul extremely well. I like being in the mountains more than any place we've been to. I could probably sit there for a long time and find, after awhile, that it had cleansed something from me. I love that there is so much history and its presence continues to linger. I'm not sure how much the mountains and the paths have changed from the days when the Incans were roaming about. I hope that, aside from the actual city, the mountains and its presence continue to strongly connect us to something that is no longer tangible.

We also ended up seeing the Cathedral at the plaza that's pretty old. I'm not religious, really, and I'm certainly not Christian, but I can definitely appreciate the fine work they did. So intricate. I wish I could have taken pictures, but it was prohibited. The architecture was amazing and the decorations were even better. Apparently, it took 100 years to build the place and 30 years to decorate. Wow. There was one really elaborate wood piece there carved from one piece of wood. Whaaa?

I'll write about my first experience volunteering at the Orphanage later. Probably after I volunteer there on Monday again.

Chao, loves.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Breather Day

I think it`s freaking awesome that blogspot lets me convert the entire page in Tagalog. And that this keyboard at the Internet Cafe sucks. AHHH. Shift key is not where I am used to and there are extra keys. NoOOooOO!!

Alright. So I can write about that any day. I basically went to class today for 5 hours straight, had some fish that my mom cooks sometimes at a little restaurant, and went to the orphanage. I chose the orphanage over the hospital for personal reasons. I realized I´m one of those overly optimistic people who like to pretend things are always going to turn out awesome in the end. I guess, it´s not that I´m stupid or ignorant of suffering, but people with permanent mental disabilities make me uncomfortable. It´s a bad thing about me to want to block things out. Even if I changed their lives and they changed mine, they would never be completely free the way that most people can be. I guess, I want to interact with someone and live with the myth that they´ll grow up independent, ambitious, and gorgeous as people.

I keep thinking about that mountain hike yesterday. It doesn´t even feel like yesterday. It feels like a few days ago or last week. Honestly, it could have been a dream, for all I know. God, I was sitting on top of a mountain, watching the clouds at eye level or lower. IN fact, when I got to the refreshment house, we were basically inside a cloud. I guess, I was just thinking about how I could have given up, especially when I was wearing 2.5 inch boots, and there were so many times when my insides started to hurt and then went away. When we all started, it was 5 AM and I couldn´t even see a thing. The star were ridiculously visible. I´m guessing because we were high enough that there were no clouds. I felt like I was dreaming a painful and lovely dream.

I like my roommate a lot. I don´t know how it turned out that I never met her until the last week or so of school in April and that she lived on my floor. She´s extremely intelligent and a wonderful conversationalist. I found myself getting really moved and jealous of her China mission stories. She told me her job was to make the children who were getting face surgery feel at ease. She played Memory with one and said she loved how language wasn´t needed. Nonverbal communication. She also told me this little girl gave her the good luck charm she had around her neck. According to the translator, the little girl wanted to say thank you for changing her life. How intensely powerful. A woman apparently walked for 4 days just to see if they can qualify for this free surgery. Man. Being in that kind of atmosphere must have been an amazing experience. Still, I´ll never be able to be a doctor. Ever. It´s just not my calling.

I´ve also been thinking about how simple life is here. In that little village, especially. I love how they carry their children on their back. I wonder if any of them dreams of leaving where they are now.

I´m beginning to see why my mother thinks I´m extremely emotional and such a dreamer. Everything seems hard and practical here, somehow. I can´t believe how little money it costs to take a taxi. I´ve told myself that I should pretend I´m living here instead of visiting. Assimilation is the key to learning anything when it comes to culture. People can always say they´ll be back in their homes millions of miles away and take comfort in that. I started wondering about the people way back when who left their homes for good and knew they´d never see it again. Technology wasn´t always what it is now.

I no longer have altitude sickness. Hallejujah!

Necesito hablar espaƱol. No estoy confidente en mis abilidades. Paso a paso... Sigh.

I forgot to mention I bought two Spanish books. La Importancia de llamarse Ernest by Oscar Wilde and El Asunto Indecoroso (?) by Kate Chopin. They´re such lovely books. I can´t wait until I fully understand them. I vow to. Meh... Someday. Kate Chopin is my favorite author and I love The Importance of Being Ernest!

I knoooow I have more to say. How can I not? I´m in the middle of the freaking Andes mountains!

More later, kiddies. Im getting a tour of the whole city of Cusco on Saturday. I wish I could upload my amazing pictures, but alas... no cord to connect to the computer. Maybe when I ask to borrow Zach´s computer again.

Until next time, loves.

P.S. I played Charades in class today for the first time! AHH. It was so fun!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Longest Day of My Life

I don't know where to start. There are too many things to process and too many things I've seen lately. It has been nothing short of amazing. I wish most days of my life contained as much excitement. Being without a computer has put a strain on me and my thoughts. I can't seem to commit myself to paper.

The last 36 hours of my life has been one giant day. Yesterday morning's breakfast--which was early, I might add-- seemed too long ago. Honestly, I feel as though I've been here for a month. My days are so filled and appear longer. Seriously, Geo spilling Inca Kola on his pants in the airport at Lima feels like it was two months ago or something when, in fact, that was four days ago. Four.

We went to this little village nestled inside the mountains yesterday. On the way there, I was trying to get my thoughts together. I'm not very comfortable with not being able to record my thoughts in my head or having too many that it all seems to rushed. The mountains are... I'm not sure how to describe them. No one needs to say they're beautiful because it's a common fact. There were so many mountain sceneries that I found they became common after awhile. Still, I found myself pondering on how majestic they were. There is something so intangibly captivating about them. They were to be respected. My life seemed somewhat insignificant in comparison. If I had a lover or significant other, I probably would have compared or united the mountain's mesmerizing effect with it.

We ended up making a stop at a Pre-Incan tomb place. Of course, it was gorgeous. I wish I knew more about it. Google is God's gift to the uneducated traveler.

I noted how amazing it was that the mountains were hovering over the village. It commanded so much attention. Anyway, we saw the festival for La Virgin del Carmen. It was really wonderful. There were lot of dances with masks. I wish I knew what the dances meant. There was one about yellow fever and ... lawyer? AHHH. Sumra, Jess, and I danced with perverted, masked men. A little disturbing. Geo and I got hit with books. There were fireworks! There were also people with their merchandise on the street. Think of Aladdin and the marketplace when Princess Jasmine escaped. Ha. The hostel was pretty crappy, though, but not ridiculously terrible. Um. We also had to pay to use a public bathroom. I got to say, Sumra and I did not enjoy peeing in a hole in the ground. Gross.

Did I mention they also stuff us with a LOT of food? They make taking a shit hard for everyone!!

They woke us up around 1:20 AM so we could all watch the sunrise over a mountain called Tres Cruces. One problem. One of the buses got stuck so we had to walk the entire way up! They were pretty sneaky about it, too. They said it was only going to be a 10 minute hike to a good viewing point. HAA. Liesssssssss. I wore the wrong shoes and hiked up the mountain for an hour and a half. It was weird. I never thought I'd ever be so motivated so see a sunrise at the top of a mountain, especially not with the wrong shoes, but I was. My friend Zach could have gone much faster without me, but he kept me company. It was some pretty painful shit, man. But! We got there. We missed the sunrise, but we were higher than the clouds and had an awesome view of the newly risen sun and mountain terrain. We took a tiny nap on the Andes. Definitely something to brag about. Um. You guys should wait til I get home. Because that's what I'm gonna do =) YEAHHHH. =)

Pictures later. Go on facebook later.

It's really strange how simply the people live there. They raise their own animals. There were random sheep that are grazing in the mountains. They make their own clothes. I suppose, it's weird to think how pampered we really are. Toilets are a luxury. Yet, they're happy. There were so many little children and babies around. I found it so endearing. I guess, in any language and any culture, children don't really have any boundaries when it comes to touching hearts.

I suppose, everything's just been a different outlook. The more I see, the more I want to know. it really is true when they say each culture is an entirely different world. I think it's a beautiful thing. I keep thinking about how I am such a dreamer. I almost seem selfish. Seeing such a simple-living society makes me see that, although they enjoy their lives, they do things out of necessity. Well, I'm an art major. I make paintings. I want so much more. Sumra was telling me about her Operation Smile club where they raise money to do free surgery on people with lip or chin distortions in poor countries. I want to change myself, but I also want to change the world.

Anyway, I don't want to hog Zach's computer. Blaaah. Internet Cafe soon. Miss you, loves. <3